A lesser-encountered problem male orgasm denial and the male chastity lifestyle is how can single men benefit from them, too?
As you’ll probably already be aware, the two biggest groups of people who seek information on male chastity are men and women already in relationships who are searching for information on what male orgasm denial really entails and how to get started with it.
And then there’s a smaller but still reasonably large group of young men, often in their late teens or early twenties who feel their constant arousal and consequent masturbation habits have got out of hand (forgive the pun), and find it’s depleting their energy, reducing their drive to go out and find a real partner and generally having a negative impact on their sex-lives as single men.
Their interest in the male chastity lifestyle tends to be skewed towards the fact it’s simply a way to ensure male orgasm denial and control, and give them more energy for other things rather than the usual reasons of improving a relationship or marriage in a number of different areas.
But there’s another group I’d like to help with this article: single men who would love to live the lifestyle but who despair of ever finding a partner who shares the same interest.
On the face of it, it’s easy to see why these men feel the situation is hopeless. After all, finding a partner for a loving relationship is difficult enough as it is without the added complication of having to find one who shares your particular interest in male orgasm denial and living the male chastity lifestyle.
Even if you frequent the BDSM scene, you’ll quickly come to find, just as with almost every other social scene, get to a certain age and everyone around you is already in a relationship.
So, what’s a single man to do?
Well, my answer may surprise you, and on first reading you’re likely to find it quite scary. But bear with me, and you’ll see it makes perfect sense.
First, if you’ve read my other articles on the subject, you’ll realise the key to making it work for both of you is clear, open and honest communication. That’s why when men (and it usually is men) ask me about how to begin the process of introducing male orgasm denial and the male chastity lifestyle into their relationship, I tell them the most important thing is to be clear about exactly what it is you want from it.
I know this simple and not always easy, but there’s no sensible alternative or substitute.
And a moment’s thought shows us it’s actually made harder because we’re introducing something new into an established relationship, and there’s no doubt that can be both difficult and scary. There’s always the fear that your partner is going to freak out and think you’re some kind of weirdo (I have never known it to happen to that extreme, but I know from my own experience when John introduced it to me, that it can be something of a surprise and a shock).
So from that point of view, single men have an easier job of things, because they are in a perfect position to begin the relationship with the desired outcome of male orgasm denial and a male chastity lifestyle.
Now, I’m not suggesting you change your style of approaching women to one where the first thing out of your mouth is “Hi, I’, Fred, and I like to be locked in a chastity belt“. I suspect that while that will get you results, they won’t be the ones you’re looking for.
But what you can do early on is make sure you communicate openly and honestly about your preferences. Look, I know this is hard, and before you have this kind of conversation, it’s best if there’s already been some physical intimacy between you. The trick is to subtly act the part and lead her into the lifestyle naturally by your combined actions rather than as making some big deal of it (the bigger deal YOU make of male chastity and male orgasm denial, the bigger deal SHE will make of them, that I promise).
And if you’re feeling really brave and you want to maximise your chances of success, I heartily recommend Internet dating. Don’t laugh. That’s how I met John, and we’re a showcase success story.
And when I think back, although John didn’t overtly bring up his kink, the signs were there so he knew I wasn’t averse to the principles of male chastity and male orgasm denial in practice even if the theory was new to me.
There’s no need and probably no mileage in posting your preferences on your “profile”, but there is every reason to bring it up at an early stage, using any one of the numerous strategies I have written a about in articles and on my Blog.
Besides, if you look around you’ll see there are numerous niche dating websites where your posting your deepest, darkest and most bizarre fantasies on your profile is not only OK, but is expected of you.
Isn’t Internet dating a bit “sad”?
Not in the least.
Because the beauty of Internet dating is you get to make a shopping list – and there’s absolutely no reason on Earth not to ask for what you want and to reject anyone who won’t give it to you. You don’t have to settle for beginning a relationship that doesn’t offer exactly what you want.
To Sum Up
For some men, and you might be one of them, male chastity and male orgasm denial are a burning desire that simply won’t go away. You might push them away from time to time and they’ll disappear into the background for a while.
But they always return. And they always will.
You are entitled to want what you want, and you’re perfectly entitled to accept into your life only those who’ll give it to you. Of course, they’re free to decline and choose someone else, but that’s OK, too.
The point is, only by being clear, open and honest about your desires early in your new relationship will you know if you have a chance of living your dream before you spend a lot of time and emotional energy getting close to someone who in the long run doesn’t want what you want.
Sarah Jameson, ultra-strict adherent and enforcer of the male chastity lifestyle [http://www.malechastityblog.com/male-chastity-lifestyle-and-compassion/] and male orgasm denial, and enthusiastic host of the widely acclaimed Male Chastity Blog [http://www.malechastityblog.com], reckoned by many to be “the premier source of factual and sensible information about the male chastity lifestyle”, is a happily married woman and freelance writer. She first discovered the male chastity lifestyle and male orgasm denial with her husband 2 1/2 years ago, and now writes extensively on the subjects to share her experiences and help educate other couples about these deeply satisfying but frequently misunderstood